Have you ever felt like you didn't fit in? Sometimes I can be surrounded by people that I love, that I care for, and that I admire and I can't help to think that I'm a failure and that I just don't fit in.
I guess my life pretty much follows the law of averages, most people would say this is a good thing, but me on the other hand I think it makes me fit into society less and less. I've always had a normal gpa...3.5, I've always been an average height...5'6'', I've always had an average body type and I've always fit in( in others eyes). I'm not sure if it's just me because I'm sure being average is not a bad thing or at least it shouldn't be but to me, it feels like I don't even fit in with the average. I've never had that image of a picket white fence, in fact I always want to live in the city(chicago) where I live now. I've never dreamed of getting married in a beautiful gown and saying I do in a beautiful steeple and I've never dreamed of cooking and cleaning and being domestic, but if I'm average in everything else shouldn't I think like the average 19 year old girl. Sometimes, it doesn't bother me that I don't fit but other times I just say things to shut everyone up. I think I'm learning that no matter how hard you try to fit in, sometimes the advantages of looking average but being the invisible girl in the room is an amazing skill. I am the invisible girl and more than anything I am an observer. I don't need to fit in, in my world of observations because there I can silently watch the world, with no judgement.
